Dr. Ben Houltberg, CEO of Search Institute, offers a personal reflection on his experiences working with young people and shares key insights to take into 2025.

Igniting a Spark

“Greg” walked into my office with a spark in his eye and a lot of energy. I mean a lot of energy! He had a presence about him that radiated charisma and charm. When he sat down in front of me, he looked around my office and started asking questions. I mean a lot of questions. “Where are you from, are you married, what is a vocational counselor, what kind of car do you drive, what is your favorite basketball team, what is your favorite music, can you pull me out of my math class…” 

His curiosity had no bounds and I instantly liked him. I was excited to use all of the skills and approaches I learned in graduate school to support Greg. I had landed my first job working in a large school district and I was buzzing with excitement feeling connected to my sense of purpose. Little did I know that Greg would teach me so much more than what I learned in graduate school and compel me to be better as a practitioner, scholar and human being. 

Connection Bridges the Gap to Success

Over the course of three years, I discovered and connected with Greg over many commonalities in our interests and lived experience. We also had to navigate how our differing intersecting identities and lived experiences impacted how we saw the world. The journey was dynamic with moments of celebration and joy, as well as the challenge of dealing with suspensions, devastating loss, conflict, and relational repair. I was able to learn about the sparks that Greg cared most about—expression through music, responsibility for his family, loyalty to his friends, giving back to his community-as well as his stories of pain and heartache that were camouflaged so well behind his bright smile and extroverted disposition. Creating the space where Greg felt seen, heard, valued and safe unlocked the opportunity for connecting what he cared about most with access to new resources. Greg’s tremendous love for music coupled with an opportunity for vocational training in sound engineering set him on a path that was meaningful with the byproduct of better attendance, classroom engagement, and a high school diploma. 

Although it has been 20 years since I met Greg, I continue to connect back to this story in a visceral way. I am filled with joy as I remember how proud Greg and his family were when he walked across the stage for his diploma. I can feel the anger that swells up thinking about the deficit-based ways some staff would talk about Greg and his family. I feel a sense of gratitude for what I learned from my relationship with Greg and so many young people I have met along the way. Not all the students I worked with had these types of stories, and unfortunately, many had their sparks snuffed out by the world way too early and unfairly. 

Core Principles to Carry Forward

As I reflect back on 2024, I think about some of the foundational truths about young people that have been empirically and experientially validated that we have to take with us into 2025. 

1. The stories we tell about young people become how we relate to them. We have to be relentless in countering the persistent deficit-based narrative of young people with messages of potential and purpose. 

2. Young people are amazing and care deeply about important issues of their time. Sparks are discovered when we take the time to listen—really listen—to young people’s stories. 

3. Relational frameworks are a map not the territory. Relationships only grow stronger when frameworks are expressed and experienced meaningfully in the day-to-day lives of young people.     

4. Relationships are critical but not sufficient for youth thriving. We have to do better about removing barriers and providing access to resources and opportunities that are aligned with what young people care about. 

5. This is bigger than any one organization, school or person. It takes all of us, interwoven together with young people, to create the tapestry of thriving communities. 

I look forward to our continued, collective work to build the supporting ecosystems young people need to thrive.